And my own breathing
Are the only sounds around for miles, probably
Or enough miles for me.
If I were to scamper and scream with joy
Through the leaf carpeted lanes
Of my childhood.
No one can see me, hear me, know me
No one can touch me, want me, need me
I am six again and free of adult shackles.
I can shout and jump and laugh
And not be afraid of it,
Afraid of pure bliss.
Only I don't do it.
I walk sedate and grown up
And take in the cooling autumn air
As I imagine a smaller, younger, happier me
Leaping along the road.
That's enough for me in the wilds of the country.
That's enough for me to remember.
That's enough for now.
But when I'm older - old - I might come back
To try it again.
To shriek and holler and giggle.
Perhaps my old friends will join me,
Even if they've gone.
And yes, I do think I would like to spend my last moments
Breathing in the autumn air, crunching the crisp leaves,
And living. Until the end.
©Lisamarie Lamb 2013